Making Out Like Lemmings!

Prologue: An evening of vodka and grass, incessant conversation bordering on the inane and the quaintly sensible……….

A topic, not really in sync with the multitude of sexual innuendos, which crowd the repertoire of urban expletives, but born rather out of inchoate sensations of a pleasantly decadent evening. Typing out words with pejorative disregard for grammar provides a sense of much needed spontaneity. Losing the threads, tasselled patterns, phantasmagoria of a multitude of Lear-ish nonsense, discovering a brilliant satire in a poem from “Abol-Tabol” – “Katukutu buro”, “Khuror kol”. Unreal characters, rolling around in a fluid of surreal, apparently incoherent lyricism. Disjointed thoughts, a mind a limbo. Drags of cannabis swirling around my tired cerebrum, instigating my reptilian instincts – I have again lost the thread!
To rationalize the unorthodox topic (the act itself sounding pointless), after a short rumination (excuse the oxymoron), I can only trace is back to a particularly wild and overgrown stretch of flora adorning the rear end of the college.
The girl’s hostel, phallocentric phantasms, a dark chilly evening, a dose of intoxicated friendship. A plethora of sporadic cause-effect syndromes, an effort to rationalize the disorganized intellect leading to a culmination of precipitated thoughts.
Leaving alone a futile effort, reaching into the nadir of depression and zenith of impotent rage – phrases, that seem to echo a multitude of emotions trailing in monotonous average. I find solace and confidence, never in success, only in the realization of a niche that was always designated for me in this inconceivably stupid society of ignorant humans.
Getting back to “a pleasant evening”! Journeying through the narrow stretch of asphalt, a road that has till this day remained on the peripheral boundaries of my highly discriminating radar vision, a sense of discovery seeps through my numbed consciousness. Two pots of coffee at a strikingly colonial restaurant populated by Caucasian tourists only bring a haze of perspective.
Singular sense of virility seeps through my nervous system. An urge to do something very foolish is only prevented by lack of courage (?). Rather a life accustomed to inhibitions takes it toll on the moment of imminent satiation. The distinct physical attribute of the statement appals me to the extent of considering revision of it despite the mental tryst to pen my honest thoughts.
“Lucidity is the bane of modern civilization”! “Yes” agrees my friend. “But not quite” retorts the other.
The aroma of pheromone coupled with a feminine perfume keys my senses. A continuing struggle to perpetuate a strangely complex train of thought leads this essay through inexplicable annals.
Marx, communism, capitalism and sociology; all a failure to analyse this predicament.
In company of a reciprocal computer, stacks of bilingual literature and music, traversing a bridge between contrasting ideologues and cultures, I am an easy prey to depression. Apologetic would be the last term that can be used to define my attitude. A lifelong accumulation of modicum of intellect and aesthetics coerces me to the fringe of society. Looking for parables, albeit of the cynical variety, penning down despondency on the back of ATM slips, marvelling at nature, the blue sky is tempting me to take a break!