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Dry lips cracking into a wry smile – over alcohol – nicotine – and healthy dose of solitude – ahh – just about as pretentiously phrased as that. Catch the irony. Self deprecatingly excitable – looping playlist in Christian pop/rock band mode – lyrics bound in indecipherable profundity and pseudo alternate reality mode. Guess it’s easier to type out random shit rather than penning it in – love this autocorrect mode – to hell with the romantic shit of fountain pen and parchment – this darn thing won’t smell of memories or gather any silverfish. There’s that little fear of locking it into oblivion as I did with my first e-poem – lost the godddamn password….that was a bit of a bitch. Having given up reassuringly asserting privacy – beyond late nights of pornophilia – ain’t no teenager no more – am I?

This piece will lie foldered amongst the virtual stack of randomness of nocturnal philandering with half forgotten words – images from memory – and mutated emotions from the present – sudden shots of liberating spirit maybe heightening the pain in the bum coming down smack skating on thin ice on a frozen lake – crisp cold air penetrating the bronchioles – refreshing only till that asthma comes in wheezes and gasps.

“How can you say those two things together?

You love me and then throw it in my face?”

Hmmm…………..

Dialogue always gains its absurd gravity in subtitling – the tacky parts are profundities merely lost in translation.

I knew once to distinguish satellites from the stars – something I remember tonight watching a jetting plane on a long haul over continents through the grills of my balcony – so so so much more over awing compared to that hovering craft waiting to land in the sorry airport – tainted for me with all the short little escapades I keep making in search of the holy grail – to my little abode of peace and otherwise.

But I want to be an engine driver – a railway engine driver – shooting long beams of powerful light, tucked away behind a sleepless slit windowed cubicle – dashing through bug dropping elephant trampling jungles – with a few ghosts of extinct tigers and leopards – sulking and shrewish like ones Corbett hunted with such élan and wrote of with such grace. No steam engines hurtling on powered by Canadian coke – pretty Turneresque silhouettes on wintry mornings – puffing lazily into the dawn fog to etch a cyclically morphing beautifying spectacle onto a sleep-adled kid’s sensibilities – enough enough to recall without reference watching a silver kite ensnared on a mango tree catching the irritatingly mellow hues of the omniscient halogens of the city lights.

Back to satellites – I think that was just some bullshit peddled to a gullible kid – akin to the scary one eyed demon – scary enough to make him swallow the most bitter of pills to heal his spasmodic breathing.

Yeah – I did believe that bunkum about satellites back then – maybe it wasn’t shit after all – with memories of sputnik crashing down in a blaze of glory off the Indian coast – along with its jingoism for all things coloured red – a worthwhile sight. A pity I didn’t catch it – like that solar eclipse I caught on film and missed out on the grand finale of the exquisite diamond ring but I did see and hear the birds returning to their nests at the unexpected dusk – and caught the myriad of crescent suns through the slits of banana and coconut palm leaves – natures green pinhole cameras at work – quite as remarkable as Ray’s solitary noon’s experience with “Khor-Khori”.

I felt the chill on that October noon – watched the light fade – I was purer and sensitive.

It’s a glut of experiences and memories tonight – a giant Ferris wheel of light lone and eerie against the darkening dusk skies – a brief interrupt of a gaggle of dark bats against the inky blue sky - don’t try to interpose them – they ARE random! That’s their only saving grace, other than the juvenile romanticism of speeding past spectacles of literature.

Promontories!!!

Hey – That’s that a word I conjured out of thin air.

“Denigrating the prosaic numbness of life/mediocrity; slowly sucked down by a persistently sustained devolution….”

“Stay by my side as my light grows dim

As my blood slows down

And my nerves shatter with stabbing pain

As my heart grows weak

And the wheels of my being turn slowly

Stay by my side

As my fragile body is wracked by pain

Which verges on truth

And manic time continues scattering dust

And furious life bursts out in flames

Stay by my side as I fade

So you can point to the end of my struggle

And the twilight of eternal days at the low. Dark edge of life….”